You Don't Need Motivation

Motivation means that we have the desire to do something or that we are eager to. Let’s be real, sometimes we really want to accomplish a goal, however we lack motivation. I sure don't have the motivation to wake up at 6am everyday to hit the gym. I love sleep and I love eating. Instead of thinking about waking up so early, I just do it like Nike. When my alarm clock goes off and I am feeling like I am not ready to get out of bed, I say aloud "Islah get out of bed." That's my first step and I just do it. 

I don't believe motivation is the key to making progress and reaching goals, it’s not that easy getting started, so my suggestions are:

1. Have a goal, or something that you want to accomplish.

2. Take that first step towards your goal.

3. Create a routine.

Once you get past first three steps, get excited. You are on your way to completing you goal.

4. Commit Publicly.  Talk about what you want to do with friends/family or even on social media. Why? No one likes to look bad. This even gives you some motivation because you hold yourself accountable.

  

5. Get support. Seek family/friends or even someone who has already had the experience in what you want to achieve. Advice is always helpful and so is being able to talk about it.

6.NEVER GIVE UP!  Even though there are times you are going to want to give up. DON"T! Like I sad once you get past the first three steps you are already in the process  of achieving your goal, just don't stop there. Now there are times where we get a little lazy or start to think badly. Think about the benefits; squash all negative thoughts by thinking about the outcomes of completing your goal.

Maybe you smoked 1-2 cigarettes in a day. Maybe you only jog for five minutes. At least you showed up or did less than your normal.  Now keep going.

You’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish whether or not motivation shows up.

                                            

Love & Happiness

Love always starts with loving yourself. It is essential to start with yourself before you can love another person. When you love yourself, you treat yourself good, you listen to your own feelings, you learn things about yourself like what you like, what you dislike, and you see yourself for the beautiful person that you are.

During my 3 year man-cation, after a horrible relationship, well after me being in a relationship with a single man, is when I really learned to love myself because I walked away from the toxic relationship. The relationship was abusive physically, mentally, and spiritually because I cut myself off from my relationship with God. I dealt with the same heartbreak over and over for six years of my life. Honestly someone so young shouldn't even be bothered with relationships and instead focused on their purpose in life. However, even young people want a companion. At times it's hard to let go of longevity. The person I was with gave me real reasons why I needed to let go. When you settle for less you get less than what you settle for. I don't put all the blame on him because I desperately wanted this young man. And due to that desperation I allowed him to treat me any type of way. Some days were good and some were just the worse. Overall the bad outweighed the good drastically.

You don't always have to be in a relationship to have love and happiness. My man-cation was the best time of my life so far. I traveled with my best friend, I met some good men in other states, and I was happy. I really enjoyed being free, single, and stress-free but most importantly I was loving myself.

The first step to love and happiness is to walk away from all that makes you unhappy. Whether it is a relationship with someone or a bad job. Please understand: If the relationship is a marriage I suggest you seek counseling first. Now if the relationship is the typical boyfriend/girlfriend, please note that you are not obligated to be with that person. I feel that people in this day and age are confused about loyalty. Loyalty is for commitments and obligations. To be in a relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend means that you are testing the water, getting to know one another more, and to see IF you can move to the next level with that person. How can you be loyal to a person that you are not happy with? Loyalty is not love. Like I said loyalty is a commitment and love is an intense feeling of deep affection. For myself I was done being loyal to a person who mistreated me. I wasn't happy being with him and I wasn't happy with myself. Sometimes you have to love people from a distance and you can also be loyal from a distance if that is what it will take for you to be happy. It's not always easy to walk away the first time. You may find yourself allowing your situation back into your life. That is when you have to decide what you want to be. Happy or Content? Loyal vs. Love. Most importantly what does that person make you want to be?

So after letting go I say make a vow to love yourself and not go back to what made you unhappy. Then next travel the world! Have lots of fun with friends or family, and do all the things that you want to do. After I ended my relationship I bought a new car, started my first professional job, traveled out of the US, started blogging, and did I mention I was so happy. I was having so much fun that I wasn't even thinking about my past relationship or even meeting someone new. I was thinking about me. Loving myself enough to change somethings in my life such as eating more healthier and working out. I started waking up with so much positive energy, I was feeling myself and I still am.